LOVE SUCKS
According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics (2006):
*Approximately one in three first marriages end in divorce and;
*Most people who separate have been married less than 10 years.
Makes the effort behind courtship appear worthwhile, doesn’t it?
We’ve all been there, and by there I mean having your heart broken. It doesn’t matter if it was a teen crush, a summer fling, or 8-year relationship; the extent of your infatuation with a person is independent of time. Unfortunately. I say unfortunately because it would have made it easier for me to believe that my broken heart didn’t count for much as the relationship in question lasted six months but in “love years” my severe infatuation would have equated to a 10-year relationship, easy.
But enough about me. For now.
So, you’re likelier to get divorced once in your life than you are to live happily ever after with your soul mate (if such a thing exists, but I’ll tackle that in a later post). Erm, why? Well, according to the Relationships Australia site the number one propellor in marriage crashes is the unwillingness of couples to work through challenges together. Makes sense, right? But I’m going to play devil’s advocate here (I rarely do, so I’m enjoying this) and suggest that’s a challenge in itself because what if your idea of effort is at odds with your partner’s or what if fear holds you back from resolving issues because you don’t want to show you care (as odd as it sounds)?
Unfortunately, I don’t have the magic formula to a lasting relationship because if that were the case I wouldn’t have had my heart broken. But here’s some key advice from Joe Love (gotta love irony) who wrote the article The Six Most Common Reasons For Relationship Break-Ups And How To Correct Them. Basically, this Love fella says that incompatibility is the most common reasons for break-ups in relationships and he actually suggested something I’m guilty of not doing. He believes the best way to combat incompatibility is “to realise that the word ‘love’ is an action word. This means that you if you want to feel the emotions of love you need to do things for your partner that a loving person would do. You need to start doing small favours, acts of kindness, give gifts, and do things that make the other person happy.” Ah ha! Well, it actually sounds easy but then why aren’t people doing it?
I know I’m guilty of holding back emotions and affection out of fear of it not being reciprocated or wanted. Sure love sucks at times, but it’s best to try with everything you’ve got and considering the experiences you’ll have, it’s hard to say that someone loses if it doesn’t work out.
